Learning to let go and trust in God may seem like a topic for those who doubt and struggle more than a person of faith. I don’t think so. I have faith, some days great faith and other days faith the size of a mustard seed but no matter what size faith we have God has given it to us and will give us more if we ask. What intrigued me about writing on this topic is our humanity in relationship to trusting God.
Our humanity, along with free will, is how God made us. All those emotions, needs, personality quirks, and desires are good. Sin then entered the picture and now we have fear, anxiety, disordered needs and mistrust. In our humanity, we assign God traits that belong not to him but to people and that is why we need to think about how we trust God and learn to trust him more.
Before we can fully trust, there needs to be an emptying of self, a desire that instead of doing our will we follow God’s will. I think that is a lifetime’s work. We struggle mightily to give up our troubles, our worries, and our desires to God. We ask to be filled with what he wants to give us and knows we need. Yet we live in a world that tells us it is all up to us, we can be self-made, and we can have it all. We live in that tension between God and the world. When we fall short, is it because we have trusted the world and not God? In my experience, that is usually the case. I think I know better so I go ahead without bothering to talk to God first. Prideful, yes but I doubt I’m the only one who has done that.
Life gets messy, plans unravel, discord all around and we call out, “Why God?” How many times were the problems because I did it my way? Instead of trusting I took matters into my own hands. I didn’t want to bother God or maybe I was afraid of his answer. What if he asked me to let go? For me, not being able to let go is the biggest obstacle to trust. Even after years of being able to look back and see God’s hand at work I still hold on, thinking I can do it, all by myself. Why? Because there is that whisper in my ear, “you don’t need help, help is for weak people, you’re not weak.”
I am weak. I am weak when I buy the lies. I am weak when I deny I need help. I am weak when I don’t rely on God.
Emptying myself to be filled with God makes me strong. And with him, I can do whatever he asks me to do.
Prayer: Lord, help me to empty myself of the things of the world. Fill me with your grace, mercy, and love. Take from me my weakness and give me your strength. Amen.